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in: Player Characters, Characters

Channing Taters

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"And finally, the fearsome big dong dingledonger. All the way from Whoopdy Woo - Channing Taters."

History[]

Channing Taters originally hails from the city of Whoopdy Woo, seat of the Jackman Family, to the far north of Fantasy Australia. He is the son of Wolverton Jackman, and would have been raised with the expectation of eventually taking on the title of Lord. Bootie McScoots was heavily involved in raising him.

However, Channing did not want to deny his weredingledonger heritage, and wanted to make use of the extra skills, abilities and reflexes which it granted him. As as result, he struck out from the Jackman Family to live permanently in his weredingledonger state, rather than pretending to be human.

At some point, Channing may have taken some distance learning 'pre-wizarding' courses from Van Demon University (VDU), as weredingledongers studying magic is highly frowned upon.

This eventually led him to The Barneydome, the famous fighting arena in Nippenbiddy. It is unclear whether he was aware that Bootie McScoots was following him through the country.

Characteristics[]

Despite initially appearing brash and combative, Channing Taters has a charismatic side and an understanding of law and logic which defies stereotypes of weredingledongers as brutish or uncivilised.

Channing is an enthusiastic and skilled fighter, but quick to anger and sometimes willing to carry on fighting even against an enemy that could logically be intimidated or persuaded into backing down. He is even willing to continue fighting the babies in The Barneydome, for as long as those babies are fighting him. He can be quick to anger, as seen with his fury at the dingledonger skull which Gadai wears, and inclined to hold grudges.

However, Channing also shows a level of sensitivity, including the upholding of respect for the dead and the importance of cultural heritage. He apologises to the Nippenbiddy resident Jazzabelle who has lost her triplet children, and his anger with Gadai is over his perception that she is flaunting the death of a dingledonger. He is also aware of both dingledonger and weredingledonger cultural norms and instinctive behaviours.

In contrast to his temper, Channing is also capable of quickly forming fast friendships with people, and will easily forgive physical violence if the context fully explains the behaviour - for example, he and Plank quickly become strong friends despite having fought in The Barneydome earlier that same day. He also quickly mellows to McKenzie and accepts her assistance, but it takes him significantly longer to come around to Gadai.

Channing also shows significant distrust in, and even deliberate disrespect of, authority. His deliberate leaving of Whoopdy Woo and use of a pseudonym was a defiant act, especially from a family of his status, and he is unimpressed by and unafraid of the so-called justice system of Nippenbiddy despite its powerful crettin guards.

Episodes[]

Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1[]

Channing Taters is a member of one of the teams in The Barneydome seeking to win the five thousand gold piece prize. He starts to compete alongside Barbarabarian and Chugger-Bugger against Gadai, McKenzie and Plank.

Angered by the dingledonger skull that Gadai is wearing as part of her costume, Channing directs his attacks towards her, and is highly successful.

However, the fight is abruptly interrupted by Sheriff Piggy Wolf, who enters the arena and places Channing under arrest under the accusation that he has killed and eaten three babies. Channing protests, but mayor Bernie Dohne moves to immediately execute him.

McKenzie points out the lack of investigation, only for Whoopdy Woo ambassador Bootie McScoots to also enter and explain that the Jackman Family have reason to care about Channing. Channing, Gadai, McKenzie and Plank are granted until sundown to investigate and clear Channing's name. Channing accompanies the rest of the group to talk to Jazzabelle, and is sympathetic and friendly towards her, but also explains once she has stepped aside that he cannot smell blood and that it dingledongers or weredingledongers would bury the bones, not discard them.

As the group then splits up, Channing and Plank become fast friends as they head to talk to wizard Figgy Wiggins. However, he does not give them much information save to show them his tattoo saying "Trust no cunt", and as they leave his shop they are met by four hooded figures demanding they stop the investigation.

Episode 11: Beyond Barneydome Part 2[]

Channing follows Plank in attacking the group who cornered them, but only after two of the group have been killed do they realise that the four were teenage boys. The boys explain that they were working on behalf of their fathers, Bob Gravy and Charlie Parsnip, and Channing and Plank pass this information along to Gadai and McKenzie.

Heading to Zantasia the merchant, Channing and Plank attempt to befriend the two remaining teenage boys. On reaching the store, Channing is suspicious of what meat might be in Zantasia's food, but is unable to identify it. As Plank is beginning to work on intimidating Zantasia, Figgy Wiggins bursts from the crowd to accuse Zantasia and Charlie Parsnip of working together to hide something underneath the church, cloaked in illusion magic.

Along with the others, Channing accepts healing potions from Figgy Wiggins, along with a potion which Figgy Wiggins promises will counteract the illusion magic under the church for the next two minutes. However, as the group journeys through the tunnel beneath the church, they find themselves shrunk to the size of babies and trapped in an iron cage. Channing is reduced to a puppy-like state, although his teeth are left sharper than they were as an adult.

Figgy Wiggins wishes them luck and points them down a corridor which opens back into The Barneydome. Four babies, armed with weapons, are released as their opposition. Channing is quite willing to take part in the fight that ensues, until McKenzie manages to persuade all remaining participants to put down their weapons and leave together.

Channing exits with the others and assures mayor Bernie Dohne that all he wants is to be cleared of all charges and he will not take matters further. On being given the potion to return him to his adult size, he negotiates the opportunity to have one free kick at Figgy Wiggins's testicles, which he lands firmly. As Gadai starts to question Channing about his links to the Jackman Family, Bootie McScoots intervenes and whisks Channing away in a carriage bearing the Jackman crest.

Appearances[]

Quotes[]

  • "I'm gonna fuck you first." - Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1
  • "I don't know how I feel about these people helping me, they're pretty fucking stupid. We've got this one standing uncomfortably close to the sheriff, like he's not happy with that, fellas..." - Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1
  • "Look, Mrs, uh, Jazzabelle, I'd like to say that I'm very sorry for your loss and I think these insensitive pricks really shouldn't be laughing at your pain." - Episode 10: Beyond Barneydome Part 1
  • "I have often been accused of being a two-minute wonder, so let's get going." - Episode 11: Beyond Barneydome Part 2
  • "I feel like I've had my day, like, really fucking ruined here. So I reckon that I should get a free potshot at his nuts." - Episode 11: Beyond Barneydome Part 2

Trivia[]

  • Jacinta, the player for Channing Taters, is the first guest to appear on the show. She is also the first player (outside the DM) to play a character who is not of her own gender.
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