Episode 6: The Bogan Bash Part 1

''Strewth! This week kicks off a brand new adventure as McKenzie, Plank and Gadai find themselves stranded in the dreaded and dangerous Bogan Wilds - completely unaware that they are about to unwittingly become part of the cultural event of the season!''

Synopsis
Gadai, McKenzie and Plank  are awoken in the early hours as one of their humpyhorses is killed in a collision with a jumbucker. They trade the body of the humpyhorse with the firbolg swagman owner of the jumbucker, although not before McKenzie fights the swagman and ends up knocked unconscious.

Gadai speaks to the jumbucker, Lambsey Ramsey, but cannot persuade him to help pull the pie wagon. The group realises they are in the Bogan Wilds, but Wenzo says that they can reach Hogan's Knife, a town about a day's walk away, to buy a new humpyhorse. The group leave Wenzo and Little Beefy with the pie wagon as they head to Hogan's Knife with the remaining humpyhorse.

Large numbers of bogans are gathering for a celebration in Hogan's Knife. They agree to paint their faces yellow and blue, using nearby pollen and ink from McKenzie's scholar kit, and go in calmly among the crowds. Wenzo is disappointed that he will not be present to see royalty.

The group learn from passing bogans that a wedding is to take place between Nathan "Nuggo" Worthington and local resident Kayleigh Lotto. A group of wizards create a shield around the town for the following twenty-four hours, and everyone inside, guards included, set about getting drunk. McKenzie visits a magic items store, while Gadai and Plank visit a weapon's store opposite, but as all items are expensive they instead search out a humpyhorse for which they negotiate a reduced price in return for sitting on McKenzie's shoulders.

They return to the packed town square, where Nuggo Worthington and Kayleigh Lotto emerge. The wedding, including the vows, goes ahead as planned until the priest asks whether there are any objections. At this point, two fleets of four airships each converge on the tower, bearing the banners of the Hemsworth Family and Kidman Family. Jace Hemsworth declares his love for Kayleigh, while Candace Kidman berates Nuggo Worthington.

The Kidman ships begin dropping dropbears, with one of them kidnapping Kayleigh.

Characters

 * Gadai
 * McKenzie
 * Plank
 * Wenzo
 * Little Beefy (mentioned)
 * Lambsey Ramsey
 * Winona Bottlebrush (mentioned)
 * King Samwise "Wortho" Worthington (mentioned)
 * Nathan "Nuggo" Worthington
 * Kayleigh Lotto
 * Grizzard the Wizard 43
 * Jerome the Gnome

Locations

 * Bogan Wilds
 * Hogan's Knife

Peoples

 * Firbolgs
 * Half-Orcs
 * Halflings
 * High Elves
 * Humans
 * Tieflings

Creatures

 * Dropbears
 * Humpyhorses
 * Jumbuckers
 * Wombangers (mentioned)

Definitions

 * Acker Dacker
 * Crikey Moses (mentioned)
 * Lotto-Worthington Wedding Vows
 * Main Vein Drainer
 * Pie Wagon
 * Smart Arse (Cap) (mentioned)
 * Sober Goggles (mentioned)
 * Worthington Family

Quotes
Zach: I continue to jerk. Luke: Really? Suzanne. Yes. Yes! He's flammable and he's annoying me. Wenzo: "Yup, alright." Plank: "Hindsight is 20-20 me punching you in the face." Wenzo: "Is that what they..."
 * Luke: The pie wagon jerks to a halt, the victim of some grisly collision. You jerks jerk awake, pop quiz hotshots, what do you do?
 * Suzanne: McKenzie throws a firebolt at him.
 * Gadai: "Wenzo, I'll give you one gold piece to go back in the van."
 * Wenzo: "You know what they say about hindsight."
 * Luke: It's two stores opposite each other so... unless you're complete fucking - and I'm not ruling it out - but you should be okay.
 * Plank: "I say we go to the military barracks, fake a guy called Steve's illness, and have a donation drive."
 * Jerome the Gnome: "That's the most beautiful fucking thing I've ever heard in my short life... I know, I've lived a long time, I just mean that I'm a very short character."

Australian Culture References

 * "Bogan" (noun) is Australian slang for a person of low social status, generally uncouth and unsophisticated.
 * "Clacker" (noun) is Australian slang for anus. (Referenced as "a wombanger's clacker".)
 * "Knackered" (adj) is Australian slang for tired.
 * Wenzo describes the crash as "a bit of a wobbly", probably a variant on "to throw/chuck a wobbly" (verb) which means to become intensely upset over nothing or to throw a tantrum.
 * A "swagman" (noun) was historically a transient labourer who carried their (usually his) belongings in a "swag" or sack. Similar to the historical meaning of the US word "hobo" or "bindlestiff".
 * "We're being Waltzing Matilda'd, everyone" refers to the very popular Australian bush anthem Waltzing Matilda.
 * "Fucking oath" is a general Australian slang term for surprise or excitement.
 * "Broggies" (noun) is Australian slang for the act of sliding a bike or car around a corner, in a skid or drift.
 * "Jockeys" (noun) is Australian and US slang for jockey shorts, or men's underwear.
 * "Grouse" (adj) is Australian slang for excellent or awesome.

Trivia & Gaffes

 * This week, the players are asked their characters' favourite food.
 * Gadai's favourite food is berries, and the occasional Chiko Roll. Chiko Rolls are pastry tubes containing a mixture of vegetables and beef and fried in vegetable oil. They are popular snacks, especially at football matches, because they do not need cutlery or a plate.
 * McKenzie's favourite food is "anything that's served on a stick".
 * Plank's preferred food is redskins, a type of red chewy candy. [Note that as of 2020, the name of this candy is due to be changed to a more appropriate and racially sensitive one.] In the real world, these are raspberry flavoured, but in Fantasy Australia they are flavoured with Clungeon musk.
 * The group struggles to remember that spring in Australia is not around Easter. Wenzo dates this episode to "Fantasy September the Fantasy Third".
 * This is the episode which establishes Wenzo as a strong royalist, a trait which continues even through difficulties with the royals.
 * It is noted that bogans can be of any people, but are often humans, half-orcs and orcs. It is more like a class or lifestyle than a people.
 * The players states that the map of Hogan's Knife looks like a penis, which Luke denies.
 * Luke introduces rules for drinking by characters, with a -1 penalty to rolls for every two drinks consumed. This is more fine-grained than the system used by many games, which is simply to treat the character as Poisoned with the resultant disadvantage.
 * Grizzard the Wizard 43 is the first example of the "wizard voice" that comes to be a staple.